I turn forty-five next month. That feels like some kind of danger-signal-high-watermark birthday, all set to scream "Be gone, all ye time-wasters! The sand in her hourglass is moving at warp speed! And at least half of it is in the bottom of the glass!"
I wonder if the Lord has chuckled at me today. I have a journal going, and I am working through an "Overcomer's Bible".... leads one through the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous one devotional at a time, with multiple scripture references for each step. I am not a recovering alcoholic or drug addict. I decided to apply the twelve steps to other addictions I practice, such as overeating and overuse of hobbies and the internet, to name a few. I did my devotional, looked over the new "parameters" I set for myself, and then got a few things done. In the meanwhile, I struggled so hard against my addictions. I even snuck a few peeks at hobby websites here and there during breaks. I have such a hard time with the idea that I won't have my overuse of otherwise good things to help me escape. I am sure that, spiritually speaking, I looked like a little mouse running dead-end tunnels all morning.
God has been working on me for several months. He has been letting me know that I cannot use diversions to escape living for Him. I cannot run from the work He wants me to do. I feel like Jonah. My "whale" is my impending birthday. My impending day of death, too. One day I will stand in front of God. I know I can't earn my way into heaven; Jesus already paid for my ticket. I do, however, want to be in the heaven mindset when I get there. I already want to know what it's like to live, breathe and move in the Spirit. I want to be all about worshiping God while I have my clay suit on. A big, huge part of worshiping God is living the destiny he marked out for us. This involves evaluating our gifts, talents, abilities and opportunities and soaking them in prayer, and walking something out that gels them all. Every single day.
I seem to like to try things that don't have my aptitudes anywhere near them. That way, when I do a nosedive into failure, I can say "See, I just wasn't cut out for that." I tell myself it's just because I like a challenge. That is partly true. I really do love a challenge. Challenges stretch our brains and our faith. The biggest wedge of our time should be spent honing our abilities, though. Using them in some way. That's my new soapbox to me.
I wonder if the Lord has chuckled at me today. I have a journal going, and I am working through an "Overcomer's Bible".... leads one through the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous one devotional at a time, with multiple scripture references for each step. I am not a recovering alcoholic or drug addict. I decided to apply the twelve steps to other addictions I practice, such as overeating and overuse of hobbies and the internet, to name a few. I did my devotional, looked over the new "parameters" I set for myself, and then got a few things done. In the meanwhile, I struggled so hard against my addictions. I even snuck a few peeks at hobby websites here and there during breaks. I have such a hard time with the idea that I won't have my overuse of otherwise good things to help me escape. I am sure that, spiritually speaking, I looked like a little mouse running dead-end tunnels all morning.
God has been working on me for several months. He has been letting me know that I cannot use diversions to escape living for Him. I cannot run from the work He wants me to do. I feel like Jonah. My "whale" is my impending birthday. My impending day of death, too. One day I will stand in front of God. I know I can't earn my way into heaven; Jesus already paid for my ticket. I do, however, want to be in the heaven mindset when I get there. I already want to know what it's like to live, breathe and move in the Spirit. I want to be all about worshiping God while I have my clay suit on. A big, huge part of worshiping God is living the destiny he marked out for us. This involves evaluating our gifts, talents, abilities and opportunities and soaking them in prayer, and walking something out that gels them all. Every single day.
I seem to like to try things that don't have my aptitudes anywhere near them. That way, when I do a nosedive into failure, I can say "See, I just wasn't cut out for that." I tell myself it's just because I like a challenge. That is partly true. I really do love a challenge. Challenges stretch our brains and our faith. The biggest wedge of our time should be spent honing our abilities, though. Using them in some way. That's my new soapbox to me.
