Just GO!

Scientists, explorers, entrepreneurs with lots of capital. These are the people who "boldly go where no man has gone before," to quote Star Trek (which all great philosophers everywhere always do). You and me, we probably won't do anything in our lifetimes that the outside world would describe that way. That's ok.

Sometimes for me, though, just doing the bit that's in front of me feels like I'm taking up that epic challenge. I feel like it's ME on that Starship Enterprise, hurtling into the black hole of the wide-open universe. I become afraid. I want to turn back. I'm seeking God's will, because I know that's the only safe place in said black hole, but I'm not always sure I've found it.

When I think about the astronauts who allow themselves to be flung into space, too far from earth for any of us to save them should they experience any problems, my stomach tightens. I simply cannot imagine it. I am not made of the same stuff. It's just not in there, folks. Wouldn't it be lovely to understand, to finally know fully, down to our toes, that the God of the black hole of uncertainty is holding us up. He's not holding the ship, he's holding US. I can't fall. I'm in the palm of His hand.

Psalm 139:5-6 puts it this way: "You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain." (Holy Bible, New International Version.)

As I walk the path in front of me, prayerfully seeking His will at each and every turn, I can rest assured that His grace covers my mistakes. He has me. Always has, always will.

Wake Me Up Now!

I was in the grocery store just now when a popular song came on over the intercom, washing all of us gray-haired shoppers looking for cereal out in a tide of smoothly-delivered angst. Very emotional song. Gist of it is that the singer wants to be awakened "when it's all over." I've got, regrettably, some very bad news for him. None of us is getting that opportunity. While everyone else wondered what else would make that recipe "pop," or where the Metamucil could be found,  I listened to the blamed lyrics, every word tapping the sore places in my heart.

He sang that he wants to be wiser and older when said awakening happens, if you please. Again, no dice. We don't get to skip what we got right now, and we will have to make do with whatever we've got in our current psychological toolbox.

All of this pop culture/grocery store intercom philosophy was flooding over me in the wake of some serious, heavy-duty theological ponderings and readings I had dipped my toes into just before hopping in my red beetle and jumping down to Ingle's in a few scoots (I had ADHD back when they called it "blatant lack of self-discipline"). I was wrestling with some very deep concepts, wondering how to integrate them into my spiritual survival chest.

The crux of the matter is that we all came from God and we all have the opportunity to return to Him, if we accept the sacrifice His son Jesus Christ made on the cross. We have unique, individual destinies on this earth and we can chuck everything to learn what they are and lean into Him to see them fulfilled in His power. All of the intricacies of spiritual warfare and the deeper things of the Spirit will be fed to us bit by bit, as we are able to digest them, by the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I want to jump to Ph.D. in the spiritual realm while extending the commitment of a preschooler. Lord, please help me to do better!

If I want to serve God with absolute abandon and complete commitment to His purposes in my life, I will have to expect that there are concepts and secrets that I'll only learn as I diligently pursue Him. The Bible does not say that those who seek Him find Him when they look for Him in some things, some of the time. What it DOES, however, say is this: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart." (Jeremiah 29:13, Holy Bible, New International Version.)

That means EVERY day, in ALL things, with ALL I have ALL of the time. Wake me up in the morning after I've rested well all night. I don't want to wait until it's "all over" and I've missed what I'm here for!

A Lot of "A Lots"

There's a t-shirt/cottage industry that sprung up around, I think it was, a woman who called in to the Ellen DeGeneres Show. She said she loved Jesus but she drank a little. I have always cringed when people mention it because I don't like to use His precious name so casually! However, the point made by this simple statement has resonated with me for YEARS. I usually substituted cussing for drinking when applying it to myself in my head, since I essentially gave up social drinking twenty-five years ago.

The point of the silly little joke gone wild/universal isn't lost on me and, sadly, has applied to my life in more ways than one. Except for the "a little" part. I find myself doing certain things "a lot"...things that seem to negate the "I love Jesus" part.

I'm a little down today because of my big mouth. I can't seem to get the voice in my head that criticizes others to come into line with what I know the Bible teaches about love. I am so saddened by this fact. I have deep hurts that come raging to the surface with little provocation and vicious statements roll off of my tongue. It's not good. It's not godly. It's got to go.

I love the line from a song recorded by  Chris Rice  that goes something like this: "Freedom from myself will be the sweetest rest I've ever known." I think he was talking about when we reach heaven. Can I ever relate. I've got other strongholds that have got to be shown the door, too, but this issue of my mouth, it is serious business.

I have done some thinking on the topic and want to encourage anyone else who is fighting the same battle to embrace the scripture that tells us to take every thought captive. If we keep our minds continually on God and His work, His perspective, His unfailing love for us and others, it will be much harder to be vicious verbally. If our thoughts turn dark, we can make the conscious effort to hand our minds to God for Him to sort them out and set them right. Our thoughts lead our emotions, which lead our mouths. Ultimately our actions will go down into the ditch, too! Good news! They can come up out of the ditch. Thank you, Lord, that You take me by the hand, brush off the filth of my sins of resentment, anger, rage and bitterness and set me on a level path where my ankles will not turn,. Thank you, Lord, for never giving up on me, even when I want to give up on myself!