Queen Bee

I am learning something about slowing down and listening to my heavenly father these days. Sometimes that means ignoring the way others are treating me or reacting to my decisions and getting still in my spirit. I had a dream on what would have been my grandfather's 95th birthday. I don't feel led to share it yet as I feel it was given to me by the Lord and I don't fully understand the meaning of it. I am still praying over it. My grandfather was a godly man. Period. His entire existence, especially for the last forty years of his life, when he was walking in a deeper understanding of the Holy Spirit, was centered on God. What an example. I am just backing up and trying to soak everything I am feeling in prayer. I'm also going to hold it up against the passages of scripture I am reading and make sure my thoughts and feelings are measuring up to the truth of the Bible. Sometimes when we are hurt, especially when it is other Christians who are hurting us, we make emotional choices, not sound, godly ones. I am the queen of that. The absolute queen bee. I would like to step down from that role and become the queen bee of humility (is that an oxymoron?), steadfastness, quietness, peace, and gentleness. (I WANT EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY TO STOP LAUGHING RIGHT NOW. I know the "quietness" and "gentleness" really got you there.)