God is in the Details

This morning, I thought I would encourage someone who is facing cancer treatment. I believe in healing, and I am praying and believing for that person's total healing. I had ordered this person a CD of healing scriptures read by a San Antonio pastor. Accompanying this CD is a companion CD detailing the healing of a ten-year-old girl who was given only months to live after being diagnosed with a massive, inoperable brain tumor. I made the pivotal decision to listen to that testimony on my way to get breakfast. I hope that my life will be different going forward. I have been saying for a very long time that I have, over the last decade, given Satan so much ground in my life. I have let him steal so much from me personally and from my family. The thing that impressed me so much about the parents of the little girl who was healed was their dedication to knowing the Word of God, to meditating on it, and to believing it. The mother remarked that for many years she had gotten up around 4:30 a.m. to spend time in the Word. How powerful. How earth-shatteringly powerful. Satan is a liar. His only power over us centers on the lies he can make us believe about ourselves, our situations, our futures and God's feelings toward us. The truth is, believer, that GOD IS FOR US! No, He is not for our sin. However, He longs to help us up when we fall down. He wants in on everything concerning us. By His own declaration in scripture, He is our ever-present help in trouble. He is our all-in-all!!! If He can make cancer disappear, He can formulate a fulfilling life plan for each of us, guide us into it, and provide for all of the details, all while gracing us with rainbows, mind-bending sunsets and moments with him so personal I call them "postcards from heaven" (I am sure I am not the first to do so...sorry if there is a copyright infringement). I guess I was so bowled over by the extremely personal testimony of this couple, especially moments therein like the statement from the father that, while the girl was sick, they pretty much tuned out the world and spent every spare moment meditating on the Word of God, that I became challenged in my spirit to draw closer to the Lord and believe Him for more for my life and the lives of my loved ones. God is in the details. Let Him be Lord of yours.

God is Near! Let that fact engergize you!

The nearness of God is on my heart this morning. His presence permeates every aspect of our lives when we allow him into absolutely everything that touches us. When we do this, we can expect that our focus will shift from temporal problems and from our ego issues to things that really matter. We can then begin to live a life of significance to God's eternal kingdom, rather than a life lived for self. I have found that as I go along in my day with Jesus, aware of his presence and asking for his help, I am frequently reminded, through collisions with Satan (who despises spiritual progress), my own flesh, and the world in general, that I have such a long way to go. Good intentions simply will not get me there. However, I can be excited by the fact that Jesus has promised to complete the good work he began in me. I can also know that, according to the scriptures, he has work for me to do and he will carry me through it, supplying my every need as I fulfill that work. ("For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10, NLT) I know that holiness and sanctification (the Bible says I am already a saint, washed clean by the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross) ARE possible. Perfection, no. Continual upward progress in my goal to be more like Jesus, YES. By the power of the Holy Spirit. "Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:8-9, NLT

Snagged

It is awfully humbling to be skating confidently down the path to spiritual wholeness and productivity only to hit a hidden snag in the ice that sends you flying, face down, arms spread. As you lay sprawled on the ice, you look up and realize that your skating still has, well, issues. Every time I make a concerted effort to please God, learn to walk in His ways, not my own, and to become closer to Him, something happens that reveals to me the selfishness of my own heart. Sometimes it's God pointing this out to me, other times, like yesterday when someone hurt me terribly, it's simply the case that my reactions reveal something to me about myself that I would rather not acknowledge. I really do love God. I also pray that He will help me to love Him more. And He can do that. The way that we react when others are selfish and unkind is a true barometer of our spiritual health. God didn't call us to continually climb up a spiritual mountain so much as He called us to continually climb into His arms. He wants us to draw so close to Him that we are able to discern His will right away because we are continually doing away, by the power of the Holy Spirit, with anything and everything that comes between us and our Father. I suppose giving up my right to retribution and control is going to be the hardest thing for me to come to terms with. This does not mean that I have no boundaries in relationships. This also does not mean that I allow others to hurt me again and again, continually offering myself or my loved ones as emotional sacrifices on the altar of another's ego. What it does mean is that I avoid doing things for spite, to make another person understand or feel the same pain that they have visited on me, or for control or manipulation. This is a tall order, especially where family members are concerned. They can hurt us the deepest because we are always hoping for something different from them, for a devotion to us that leaps up higher and lasts longer than what other people will offer. Truth is, only God will give us what we need WITHOUT FAIL. "The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." Psalm 103:13

Lovely Fall Morning

This morning, as I drove the winding country road to the middle school with Jonathan, my youngest, a full-sized deer dashed across the road just ahead of us. He joined two others standing in someone's side yard, looking for all of the world like those stiff statues people decorate with. Seconds later I noticed a hotair balloon already soaring in the morning sky. A few miles down a basset hound trotted through a front yard, his endearing, thin ears flopping in the morning chill. Everywhere I looked there seemed to be markers of God's grace, His presence, the beauty of his creation merged with man's invention, which is really just an extension, or shadow, if you will, of the genius of God. Dark days always seem to be bookended by mornings like today. I am amazed by this. Though we live on a planet that will, according to scripture, pass away, we are continually reminded that, through the darkness of Satan's plans and his interference in this present natural world, the glory of the Lord shines bright and strong. God's presence is constant, especially where his children, believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, traverse. Let yourself revel in His loving arms of protection today. Make yourself aware of the myriad ways He is showing his love for you, ways you might normally attribute to coincidence.

Scattering the Vultures...Emerging Victorious!!

I was just reminded, as I was logging on, that something that devastated my heart, literally ripping it to shreds, sending pieces into the stratosphere, got me writing again. The reason that outcome seems so miraculous to me is that, for whatever divine reason our loving heavenly Father ordained, writing is the one thing I feel I may have a passing talent for. I had neglected my writing for so many years, because as some of you know, it's easy to run from your calling. There is a whole world of distraction waiting for each of us. Satan absolutely hates for a believer to understand and function, by the power of the Holy Spirit, in his or her calling, following closely in the footsteps of Christ through God's plan for his or her life. Why? Because then we are dangerous to his destructive purposes. We are always feeling full, built-up and strong, and we turn and offer a hand-up to the person behind us. What follows is victory upon victory for the Kingdom of God. So, if he cannot outright intimidate us by placing obstacles and competition in our paths,  run us ragged through rejection and defeat, or sideline us with condemnation and guilt, he will offer shiny baubles of distraction designed to keep us from focusing on what God wants us to do. So my miscarriage of last January, a portal of pain I at first felt I would not survive, has served a very, very healing, redemptive purpose in my life. I cannot believe I just wrote that. It goes to show that, indeed, "...we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." (Romans 8:28, NLT)

I was really struggling the other day with the more mundane aspects of my existence. I was just plain bored with my duties! I pulled into the middle school carline, turned on the radio and there was Steven Curtis Chapman with a song about doing everything, whether caring for babies or flipping burgers, to the glory of God. "Thank you, Lord," I prayed. When you begin to close the gap between yourself and Jesus through conscious awareness of His presence, you begin to realize that a lot of the things you throught were coincidence, or perhaps wouldn't even have noticed before, are actually markers of God's grace in your life and His hand on your path.

Now to the part of this post I could hardly wait to tell you. I struggled against the world, the flesh and the devil all week. I have habits I want to break, and I have new habits I am fairly desperate to adopt. Mostly I just want to draw near to Jesus and empty myself to Him. Just empty me, and take His hand and love on Him. I want knowing Him to be my one chief aim in life. So, I take my depression-prone self on down the winding road to Page Middle one afternoon. It was gray out, and I was under a load. I looked to my right and spotted some jet-black vultures in a ring, feasting on carrion. I shivered inwardly. They appear so vile to me, just sitting around and waiting for something bad to happen to another creature so they can capitalize on it. Just up ahead, at the small methodist church, there was symbolic sight if ever I have seen one. Several black vultures perched on the large cross that crowns the church. The symbol of my redemption rising high into the sky was starkly compromised by the image of those death-seekers weighing it down. It reminded me that the church of Jesus Christ, and that is me and you, believer, is always under spiritual attack. We must ever be at the ready. The good news is that Jesus Christ is not on that cross anymore. He is seated in the heavenlies at the right hand of God and He is always interceding for me and for you. He has defeated our foe and all we must do is focus, not on the battle (except that we must keep our armor on), but on Him and all of the wonderful things He is always doing in our lives and in our behalf. The blood of Jesus means that though those demons may perch on my shoulders from time to time, their smelly feathers clouding my thinking, their talons pinching my dreams, they will never weigh me down. Best of all, they can be scattered at the mention of His Name. "And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony..." Rev. 12:11.

Well, I am finally here. (Sets down battered suitcase.) The "proverbial" end of the line. I held on pretty good to my course for, oh, a bit over forty-three years. That's a long time, in human years. (In dog years it's an eternity.) How does it feel to be here? Oh, well, quite liberating. I don't have anywhere else to go. It's not very scenic. Not yet. Actually, It looks like the dead end of a sterile corridor. Hope it's a hospital, because I need a rest. A rest from the epic struggle of resisting God and His plans for my life. Resisting good things that come with a scarlet "R" for risk. It was just so much easier not to get my heart broken, not to have my joy stolen after those pursuits ended in defeat, after all of those potential relationships ended in betrayal. Nice, comfy little path I was on. Sure, my way was monotonous at times. Boring. Lonely. But hey, my battle scars are minimal. My, well, my heart feels numb.

Something tells me that, if I were to turn around, behind me I would find a vast, colorful, varied landscape marked by the presence of God. He created me for something deeper than that dead end view. The Holy Spirit would beckon in the ripple of a wind playing over the treetops, in the babble of a mountain stream. He is everywhere in the dynamic picture, calling, loving, protecting.

Today's blog entry marks the beginning of a journey that I will share with you. I am stepping out of the shadows. I have started writing again, with the expectation that I might be rejected. I am going to make an effort to make new friends, with the expectation that some will not be interested. The most important thing that I will do in my new journey, however, is give ALL of my heart to God, holding nothing back in an act of total devotion that will expose me to the risk of His rejection. The ultimate act of trust. His word assures me that I will not be cast aside. Still, I must trust Him in this. If He asks me to sit still on this couch for the rest of my life I must be ready to do so. But I suspect He has far, far richer adventures in store for me! Hang on, reader, because I fully intend to share them.