Sometimes when we are barrelling through our lives, making every attempt to "do right" and be as productive as we feel we should, Satan takes advantage of our good intentions to steer us down the wrong path. The other day I was looking at a website for an organization I thought I might want to volunteer for when the thought hit me that they would not want me for a number of specific reasons. This line of thinking led to a critical look at my life as a whole. Suddenly I was gripped by the throught that, if I ever did have to work again, my resume would look simply awful. Fifteen-year-gap to be a wife and mom? Not impressive. Like a row of dominoes going down, these thoughts led to a mental inventory of all of the mistakes I have made in my relationships and other areas. Panic hit me. I would never be good enough for anyone if I ever have to crawl back out into the world and sell myself. I got in the car to pick up my son from middle school. When I hit the main road as I exited my subdivision, I was planning to turn left and take one route (there are two routes that I interchange as the mood strikes me) then, for reasons that were unknown to me at the time, I decided to go the other way. I made my way along under a cloud of condemnation and outright fear. Not long after turning onto the road my church is on, I saw the sign out in front of the church next door to mine. "Grace creates the Christian resume" it read. Suddenly, I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in the situation. I felt He specifically wanted to speak to me through that sign. I reveled in His peace and provision for days afterward. I am still basking in its glow. I know I will always remember that happening. What it meant for me was that the grace of God, not my accomplishments or failures, determines my future. I can have peace in the role I am playing now, because He is walking beside me. I don't have to rush out and join things and do things in a frantic, harried, fearful and grasping manner. That's because the Holy Spirit gently guides. His conviction brings peace and it energizes us for the task ahead. Condemnation and fear (the work of the devil) drain us, harrass us, confuse us and kill our focus. I absolutely love the story in the Bible where the Pharisees brought to Jesus a woman caught in adultery and told him that Jewish law required that she be stoned. Jesus told them, well, that's fine but I want the first stone to be hurled by the one among you who has no sin. Guess what? One by one they left. Jesus told the woman that he did not condemn her. His final words to her were "Go and sin no more." What would energize the woman most to live a righteous life? The hatred, scorn and condemnation of the Pharisees, or the gentle, loving instruction of her Saviour? I know what works for me!
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