I distinctly remember a time that was carved out, planned, paid heavily for and executed for the purposes of family bonding. A trip to Yosemite National Park in California. One of my sons refused to pose with me in front of a waterfall. This individual was not a baby, but rather a teenager. I remember his lack of participation in the trip at large felt exactly like an amputation. Horrible. I didn't handle it so well. I burst into tears in a classic manipulation scene geared to make him feel as guilty as possible. Not nearly as productive as it was just plain stupid.
In the ensuing years, many things transpired to make me feel as if everything I had invested my life in was either a lie or an abject failure. I kept tripping over me. I never did "let go and let God." Not once that I recall! I never said to myself "Well, you did what you did and this is what it is." No. I tried to drag my dead dreams by the scruff of the neck into the land called "Fruition." When I got the corpse across the finish line I realized the victory was quite hollow.
I'm just not sure any family has the white picket fence. I've simply talked to too many candid mothers. LOL!
The point of this blog post is this: If you are currently in the valley of dead dreams and heartbreaking loss, pull up a chair and let me pour you a cup of virtual tea. Then I want you to look around at the sea of people who are joining us. There are millions of us here, sipping, sharing, and learning to readjust our sails.
What does it mean to readjust our sails after loss? What is does NOT mean is that we consider everything we've been blessed with as "less than." Your life story matters. It is leading to something (a lot of somethings). You have the children you have because God loved you enough to lend them to you! They are all precious, no matter how different the script for their lives reads from the edited version you kept handing back to them! Even the relationships that have ended have some happy memories interwoven through them. You have golden apples amid the rotten ones! You have lessons learned, people loved, times you shared when you did not have enough for yourself. God saw it all. He is listening now.
It is a lie of Satan (the ENEMY of our souls) that our histories are empty, useless, meaningless, because life did not turn out exactly as we planned. My first weapon of defense against this lie is the rebuttal that I am going to live for eternity because I belong to Jesus Christ. My second weapon of defense is the idea that I am not dead yet. As long as there is life, there is hope for God to use me. At one particularly dark point in my life in terms of circumstances, I remember thinking if all God wants me to do is be still, I'll do that! I am fully His!!! That is a full, joyful and meaningful place to be. It's also a safe place, because no human being can touch you there, in the palm of His hand. His love is enough, his approval washes over you and fills every hurting space in your heart.
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth, seeking to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 1 Chron. 16:9
In the ensuing years, many things transpired to make me feel as if everything I had invested my life in was either a lie or an abject failure. I kept tripping over me. I never did "let go and let God." Not once that I recall! I never said to myself "Well, you did what you did and this is what it is." No. I tried to drag my dead dreams by the scruff of the neck into the land called "Fruition." When I got the corpse across the finish line I realized the victory was quite hollow.
I'm just not sure any family has the white picket fence. I've simply talked to too many candid mothers. LOL!
The point of this blog post is this: If you are currently in the valley of dead dreams and heartbreaking loss, pull up a chair and let me pour you a cup of virtual tea. Then I want you to look around at the sea of people who are joining us. There are millions of us here, sipping, sharing, and learning to readjust our sails.
What does it mean to readjust our sails after loss? What is does NOT mean is that we consider everything we've been blessed with as "less than." Your life story matters. It is leading to something (a lot of somethings). You have the children you have because God loved you enough to lend them to you! They are all precious, no matter how different the script for their lives reads from the edited version you kept handing back to them! Even the relationships that have ended have some happy memories interwoven through them. You have golden apples amid the rotten ones! You have lessons learned, people loved, times you shared when you did not have enough for yourself. God saw it all. He is listening now.
It is a lie of Satan (the ENEMY of our souls) that our histories are empty, useless, meaningless, because life did not turn out exactly as we planned. My first weapon of defense against this lie is the rebuttal that I am going to live for eternity because I belong to Jesus Christ. My second weapon of defense is the idea that I am not dead yet. As long as there is life, there is hope for God to use me. At one particularly dark point in my life in terms of circumstances, I remember thinking if all God wants me to do is be still, I'll do that! I am fully His!!! That is a full, joyful and meaningful place to be. It's also a safe place, because no human being can touch you there, in the palm of His hand. His love is enough, his approval washes over you and fills every hurting space in your heart.
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth, seeking to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 1 Chron. 16:9
No comments:
Post a Comment