Well, I am finally here. (Sets down battered suitcase.) The "proverbial" end of the line. I held on pretty good to my course for, oh, a bit over forty-three years. That's a long time, in human years. (In dog years it's an eternity.) How does it feel to be here? Oh, well, quite liberating. I don't have anywhere else to go. It's not very scenic. Not yet. Actually, It looks like the dead end of a sterile corridor. Hope it's a hospital, because I need a rest. A rest from the epic struggle of resisting God and His plans for my life. Resisting good things that come with a scarlet "R" for risk. It was just so much easier not to get my heart broken, not to have my joy stolen after those pursuits ended in defeat, after all of those potential relationships ended in betrayal. Nice, comfy little path I was on. Sure, my way was monotonous at times. Boring. Lonely. But hey, my battle scars are minimal. My, well, my heart feels numb.

Something tells me that, if I were to turn around, behind me I would find a vast, colorful, varied landscape marked by the presence of God. He created me for something deeper than that dead end view. The Holy Spirit would beckon in the ripple of a wind playing over the treetops, in the babble of a mountain stream. He is everywhere in the dynamic picture, calling, loving, protecting.

Today's blog entry marks the beginning of a journey that I will share with you. I am stepping out of the shadows. I have started writing again, with the expectation that I might be rejected. I am going to make an effort to make new friends, with the expectation that some will not be interested. The most important thing that I will do in my new journey, however, is give ALL of my heart to God, holding nothing back in an act of total devotion that will expose me to the risk of His rejection. The ultimate act of trust. His word assures me that I will not be cast aside. Still, I must trust Him in this. If He asks me to sit still on this couch for the rest of my life I must be ready to do so. But I suspect He has far, far richer adventures in store for me! Hang on, reader, because I fully intend to share them.