I am going through a very humbling time. It's easy to say the Lord is our strength when times are bearable enough to make it on our own strength. Real easy to say it then. I am going through some things right now that have made me cry "Uncle"...and look to other people for help.
It is tremendously liberating to know that God can, and does, use a variety of means to help us in any kind of trouble we are in. I am thankful for that! I have hit a spot where I fully realize I need a hand up. Lots of hands, actually!!
I decided that, in addition to getting professional help for my on-going battle with depression, I will also open my life and my heart to friends again. I have spent so many years in the shadows, hiding from the outside world, hoping that no one will see my pain and weakness. Hoping that they will not reject me. I was throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
I have not changed, reader. I still DO believe that God hears and answers our prayers. I still DO believe I will see His goodness in the land of the living, as the scriptures teach. I really do. It's just that I am a human being, made of dust, prone to weakness and failure and in need of an understanding Savior who will send just the right resources in just the right time, if only I will open my hand to recieve them.
Don't panic, those of you who have held my hand through the last few days...I don't plan to turn you into my on-the-go therapists. I am sorry if I have made you feel that way. I am, however, going to let you all into my life and enjoy your fellowship. I am going to leave the light on in my heart for you, so that you know you may call me at any time and I will respond. I am ready to again take on the risks of interaction with friends and associates, knowing that the possibility of hurt or rejection is worth the rich, rich rewards of fellowship!
Today I said to the Lord, "If YOU do not help me, there is no help for me." Within minutes I was on the phone with a dear friend who said "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU!" She encouraged me in my blogging endeavor (of course Satan had worked overtime to get me to stop) and we agreed we have to get together for lunch very soon. I hung up the phone in awe of how God knows EXACTLY what we need EXACTLY when we have got to have it! He knows. He really does.
I guess I have learned that getting help does not make me weak. Being a human being makes me weak. No one is strong all of the time. Life is not easy for anyone.
It is tremendously liberating to know that God can, and does, use a variety of means to help us in any kind of trouble we are in. I am thankful for that! I have hit a spot where I fully realize I need a hand up. Lots of hands, actually!!
I decided that, in addition to getting professional help for my on-going battle with depression, I will also open my life and my heart to friends again. I have spent so many years in the shadows, hiding from the outside world, hoping that no one will see my pain and weakness. Hoping that they will not reject me. I was throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
I have not changed, reader. I still DO believe that God hears and answers our prayers. I still DO believe I will see His goodness in the land of the living, as the scriptures teach. I really do. It's just that I am a human being, made of dust, prone to weakness and failure and in need of an understanding Savior who will send just the right resources in just the right time, if only I will open my hand to recieve them.
Don't panic, those of you who have held my hand through the last few days...I don't plan to turn you into my on-the-go therapists. I am sorry if I have made you feel that way. I am, however, going to let you all into my life and enjoy your fellowship. I am going to leave the light on in my heart for you, so that you know you may call me at any time and I will respond. I am ready to again take on the risks of interaction with friends and associates, knowing that the possibility of hurt or rejection is worth the rich, rich rewards of fellowship!
Today I said to the Lord, "If YOU do not help me, there is no help for me." Within minutes I was on the phone with a dear friend who said "I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU!" She encouraged me in my blogging endeavor (of course Satan had worked overtime to get me to stop) and we agreed we have to get together for lunch very soon. I hung up the phone in awe of how God knows EXACTLY what we need EXACTLY when we have got to have it! He knows. He really does.
I guess I have learned that getting help does not make me weak. Being a human being makes me weak. No one is strong all of the time. Life is not easy for anyone.
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