Plenty of Light

Every now and then, because I talk about Jesus all of the time in this blog, I'll throw out a blanket disclaimer. I'm not qualified in any way, shape or form to preach, teach or talk about the Bible or about God. I struggle with my temper, with profanity, with a myriad other sins and I do hate them. I do not FEEL worthy to speak the name of Jesus. I do not. However, I'm a writer. He made me one. There's nothing else on this earth that I want to talk about more, so I will continue to talk about Him. I feel like Peter did when Jesus asked the disciples if they were going to desert him like so many others had. "Where are we gonna go?" is essentially Peter's response. Nowhere to go. Just Jesus.

Jesus is all I have. He's also, quite honestly, all I really want. Sometimes it takes a big, honkin', juicy crisis to turn me back from wasting my time on other ventures, other flirtations. That's alright. I'll take any road back home. Because, after all. Jesus is my home. He's my life, my light and, the Bible tells me that when I live in Christ, there's no darkness that can penetrate my life.("When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" - John 8:12, New International Version, Holy Bible.)

I have been through some severe trials these last three years. At the height of them, I would avoid going out at night. The darkness wrapped around me like the cords of death mentioned in the Psalms. It seeped into my soul and underscored the terror of what was happening to people I love. It amplified my deep, mind-bending sorrow. It was really bad, in other words!

Thank GOODNESS God promises me that wherever I am, it's light, spiritually speaking! Oh, friends, you have no idea what an amazing relief that is for someone who spent several months dreading nightfall. I could not even stand the sound of soft music playing. The tenderness was too much for my torn-to-bits heart.

I'm working so hard to stop working so hard. I'm letting God do the heavy lifting in my heart. He so badly wants to. I had to get to a place where I know that when I get up in the morning, I'm going to give my life all that I have and plan for God to fill in every single gap. It's harder to do than it sounds. Every time I make a human mistake, I have to fight the urge to fear that the house is going to land on me like that witch in the Wizard of Oz. Weren't just her feet sticking out?

When I start to ramble like the rambler I am, I know it's time to close. I hope you're encouraged. If you're in Christ, you've got more than a flashlight for your path. You have the light of the world, Jesus himself.