What A Difference

 

What a difference two-and-a-half years makes! I've done so much...and failed to do even more. I am giddy with the memories of talking to so many about their faith in the Christian store where I've worked part-time the last ten months. I'm still awed by the miracles I've heard recounted as I ghost-wrote testimonies for a drug-and-alcohol-rehabilitation-related ministry. The restoration of lives from the ground up by a gentle, loving Savior who longs to be good to us all shored up my faith in ways I can't fully articulate.

I'm stilled to the bone with thanksgiving at the thought that God Himself came down and pulled my youngest child (aged 23) back from the grave and restored him fully. I'm stunned that he sent a friend to remind me of all that's He's always reminded me of...and to an unlikely place, too! Who am I to receive such favor? Who am I to be so blessed? Who. Am. I?

I have recently watched in deep sorrow as another family member has come to the end of his long life, wavering in that shadowland between life and death. I grieved, only to be shocked into emotional stability as my husband exclaimed, "This is not the end! It's only the beginning!" He then asked me if I really believed the Bible. Of course I do. I just needed reminding of how short this life is and how long eternity is. I'll never fully understand it. At least not on this side of the veil. The Bible says He has set eternity in our hearts, and that I know full well, because I constantly yearn for home. I think all of the time I spend on Realtor.com and in research of faraway places to retire is merely an extension of yearning for my true home. That longing will find its satisfaction in JESUS one day when I am physically in His glorious presence.

Since my last post so many months ago I went to the life celebration of a friend who had lost her way spiritually. Such a beautiful, intelligent and sensitive soul. She was crushed by the realities of life on this earth and, though she wavered from the anchor she had always had in Christ, she never completely lost hold of His hand. I feel sure that she is enjoying the glories of heaven and that I will see her radiant face again. Though I was broken by the way she was taken, I know that she wouldn't come back to this tattered earth for anything at all. She is whole, she is at peace, she knows true joy.

In short, the last couple of years have made me want to count the years. How can I better serve Jesus? How can I better love others? How can I worship more fully? How can I? How will He work in me? I want to be who He wants me to be. If you've seen me actively not representing Him well, I am very sorry. However, He's infinitely more faithful than me. He's completely trustworthy. That's how I know I can trust Him to get me where I'm supposed to be going. Oh, Lord Jesus, help me to use my time as the precious treasure that it is! I love you!