Waiting Quietly

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him...My victory and honor come from God alone...O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62: 5-8, NLT). Someone I love more than life itself assaulted me with some of my failures and shortcomings, as loved ones sometimes do in a few, short moments of anger. That quickly, I felt the life drain from me. I felt a hopelessness creep in that drowned my joy. I felt the weight of regret of lost opportunities and years-long failures in certain areas of my life. I felt, as David did in the Psalms, as if the cords of death were entangling me. Though my husband discounted some of what was said to me (the part I shared with him), I felt so heavy of heart. I crawled to my Bible. I knew that, though there are people who love me, God is my only hope, the only one who will never leave me, never forsake me, never cast me aside, never devalue me, NEVER HOLD MY PAST SINS AGAINST ME! Pretty quickly, I found comfort in the Psalms. It is wonderful to know that any time I come into the presence of God, he has found me valuable, he is loving me, he is honoring me, he is cherishing me. "You satisfy me more than the richest feast," David says of God in Psalm 63:5.  "The godly will rejoice in the Lord and find shelter in him," he says in Psalm 64:10. I believe that is an emotional as well as a physical shelter. "Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely," he observes in Psalm 63:7-8.  David found that being transparent with God kept everything right between them. "Come and listen, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what he did for me. For I cried out to him for help, praising him as I spoke. If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me," he exults in Psalm 66:16-20. That's what I am counting on, both now and in the future, which stretches out before me, as uncertain as it is for every human being. I am BANKING on that unfailing love. I know that, if the whole world goes out, GOD will COME IN. He will bless, he will affirm my value, he will forgive my sins, he will restore the dinged up places in my heart, and, best of all, he will love me UNFAILINGLY. No human being will ever do all of those things. I am thankful that I will be rewarded for seeking God ("There truly is a reward for those who live for God; surely there is a God who judges justly here on earth." Psa. 58:11). He cares for EACH of us. I will continue to draw near to him. "His name is the Lord - rejoice in his presence! Father to the fatherless, defender of widows - this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land."( Psalm 68: 4-6) If I am in a sun-scorched place, I can know for sure that I can search my heart, submit to God, and he will lead me to a fruitful, well-watered place, hearing and answering my prayers.