I was itching to get to my computer today. So much is happening in my life, I can barely contain myself. Let me back up. I went back out West a couple of weeks ago. That sentence carries a lot of meaning. My soul literally feasted on the raw natural beauty of Mammoth Lakes, California and Yosemite National Park. My marrow bursting with that infusion, I made my way back home only to, just yesterday, enter into a covenant with a friend from high school to fast from television for thirty days. She mentioned that she was studying a book on personal revival. I couldn't get it onto my Kindle fast enough. So, here I am. Plugging into God with all that I am worth, ready to feel His presence and sense His direction anew. So excited.
You have to know where I have been to understand my current mania! I had gotten so low spiritually that, yesterday, before my Facebook conversation with Amy, I had literally decided to throw in the towel in terms of fighting some sins/terrible habits that I have struggled against for decades. Just decided that that must be how "I am." That I would have to accept God's generous grace over those things and limp on along spiritually until my outer shell flakes off and I am in His presence in heaven. So thankful God has so much more for me in this life than "hanging on until heaven!" So thankful that He uses his people to minister to me when I am on spiritual life support.
I have to share something that some of you, well, okay, many of you, will not be able to relate to completely, or in a concrete sense. Bear with me, though, because you should be able to apply it to your own heart's desires. I watched the limited run series "The Bear Whisperer" on Animal Planet this past spring. My heart leapt up into my throat as I looked at the gorgeous scenery in the city of Mammoth Lakes, California playing by in the background as Steve Searles, a local wildlife officer, dealt with situation after situation involving majestic black bears (many of which were honey blonde or brown) coming into town, or even into people's homes. I enjoy spotting wildlife, and had never seen a bear up close. "I HAVE TO GO TO MAMMOTH LAKES!" I said to my husband. I never dreamed he would actually put together a trip for me, but he did. We actually stayed in a lodge that had been part of an episode in which a cub was in a tree in the courtyard. I was so thrilled!
After a couple of days in Mammoth Lakes I still had not seen a bear and was a little down in the mouth. A cashier at the local grocery store told me to go hang out at the local lakes. Down to Lake Mary Gary and I went that evening at dusk. "God, I know I do not deserve your mercy, but you always give it to me anyway, because You are a better person than I am," I prayed inwardly. I was laughing at my own unspiritual prayer as we circled the tiny lake in our car. Suddenly, Gary said "There's one right there!" Seventy-five feet from my car a young bear sniffed around a camping spot.
I took a few pictures from my car. Another lap or so around the lake and we saw another bear cross a little spot in the lake and begin to wind its way around the shore. I jumped out of the car and went down closer with my camera. My pictures were not very good, because the light was poor, but I had seen a BEAR! Close enough to enjoy its lumbering pace, big feet, beautiful, soft-looking blonde coat. I had entered its world. I guess I was getting a bit too close because Gary started to call my name and to point at a park ranger's truck that had pulled in beside him with his eyebrows raised as if to say "You better back away or you're in trouble with the law!" As I made my way up the little hill to Gary, I saw that the truck was driven by the "Bear Whisperer" himself, Steve Searles. We met him, I had my picture taken with him, and we enjoyed a nice conversation about bears in Mammoth Lakes. I guess no prayer is too goofy for God to hear and enjoy answering. I guess it really is true that, as He did with the Israelites, He enjoys drawing us close to Him with his "lovingkindness." Take that, demons of dead religiosity!!
You have to know where I have been to understand my current mania! I had gotten so low spiritually that, yesterday, before my Facebook conversation with Amy, I had literally decided to throw in the towel in terms of fighting some sins/terrible habits that I have struggled against for decades. Just decided that that must be how "I am." That I would have to accept God's generous grace over those things and limp on along spiritually until my outer shell flakes off and I am in His presence in heaven. So thankful God has so much more for me in this life than "hanging on until heaven!" So thankful that He uses his people to minister to me when I am on spiritual life support.
I have to share something that some of you, well, okay, many of you, will not be able to relate to completely, or in a concrete sense. Bear with me, though, because you should be able to apply it to your own heart's desires. I watched the limited run series "The Bear Whisperer" on Animal Planet this past spring. My heart leapt up into my throat as I looked at the gorgeous scenery in the city of Mammoth Lakes, California playing by in the background as Steve Searles, a local wildlife officer, dealt with situation after situation involving majestic black bears (many of which were honey blonde or brown) coming into town, or even into people's homes. I enjoy spotting wildlife, and had never seen a bear up close. "I HAVE TO GO TO MAMMOTH LAKES!" I said to my husband. I never dreamed he would actually put together a trip for me, but he did. We actually stayed in a lodge that had been part of an episode in which a cub was in a tree in the courtyard. I was so thrilled!
After a couple of days in Mammoth Lakes I still had not seen a bear and was a little down in the mouth. A cashier at the local grocery store told me to go hang out at the local lakes. Down to Lake Mary Gary and I went that evening at dusk. "God, I know I do not deserve your mercy, but you always give it to me anyway, because You are a better person than I am," I prayed inwardly. I was laughing at my own unspiritual prayer as we circled the tiny lake in our car. Suddenly, Gary said "There's one right there!" Seventy-five feet from my car a young bear sniffed around a camping spot.
I took a few pictures from my car. Another lap or so around the lake and we saw another bear cross a little spot in the lake and begin to wind its way around the shore. I jumped out of the car and went down closer with my camera. My pictures were not very good, because the light was poor, but I had seen a BEAR! Close enough to enjoy its lumbering pace, big feet, beautiful, soft-looking blonde coat. I had entered its world. I guess I was getting a bit too close because Gary started to call my name and to point at a park ranger's truck that had pulled in beside him with his eyebrows raised as if to say "You better back away or you're in trouble with the law!" As I made my way up the little hill to Gary, I saw that the truck was driven by the "Bear Whisperer" himself, Steve Searles. We met him, I had my picture taken with him, and we enjoyed a nice conversation about bears in Mammoth Lakes. I guess no prayer is too goofy for God to hear and enjoy answering. I guess it really is true that, as He did with the Israelites, He enjoys drawing us close to Him with his "lovingkindness." Take that, demons of dead religiosity!!
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