Yesterday was a very, very, very long day. In one fell swoop, some dramatic developments left me thinking I might need a new church home, after nearly four years (including the year of visiting) that we have been at our current one, and a family member did something to hurt me that has me thinking yet again that I am a very weak person not to place firm boundaries in that relationship. I did not sleep well last night, being awakened again and again by dreams I do not remember today. My wildly swinging emotions sent me straight to Facebook countless times yesterday, hoping to chat with either someone from church who would give me some hope or someone from among my friends and family who could offer understanding about that other situation. Instead, what I reaped was a terrible lack of peace, an inner turmoil that matched the very brief thunderstorms we had last night. At one point while I was pouring out my heart to someone via the Facebook messaging system, there was a terrific thunderclap, the power went out briefly, jerking back on with a start. An alarm I did not realize we even had began chirping at a deafening volume, sounding roughly like an injured puppy wailing into a loudspeaker. Unsettling in the worst way.
I learned three things yesterday: 1) My new resolve to personal revival will be sorely tested. I will be found wanting, my Saviour will not be. He was here waiting for me this morning in my sitting room, the scent of my cinnamon spice coffee blending with the sweet aroma of the presence of God. (He watched me struggling to sleep last night, and he felt compassion.) 2) Facebook has no power to restore me or my relationships. It is a great tool for staying in touch, and for connecting me with so many incredible people worldwide who I would otherwise not have the privilege of knowing. But it is not therapy or a path to peace, at least not for me. Back into the once-a-day drawer it goes. My cell phone is my new best friend. I will call my friends and family. I will meet face-to-face with other Christians when I am lonely. 3) Friends are often more respectful and more loving than family, and they become part of our families when we let them. I will not be afraid to let them!
I learned three things yesterday: 1) My new resolve to personal revival will be sorely tested. I will be found wanting, my Saviour will not be. He was here waiting for me this morning in my sitting room, the scent of my cinnamon spice coffee blending with the sweet aroma of the presence of God. (He watched me struggling to sleep last night, and he felt compassion.) 2) Facebook has no power to restore me or my relationships. It is a great tool for staying in touch, and for connecting me with so many incredible people worldwide who I would otherwise not have the privilege of knowing. But it is not therapy or a path to peace, at least not for me. Back into the once-a-day drawer it goes. My cell phone is my new best friend. I will call my friends and family. I will meet face-to-face with other Christians when I am lonely. 3) Friends are often more respectful and more loving than family, and they become part of our families when we let them. I will not be afraid to let them!
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