The Four Walls of Today

Last four days have been hard. They made me wish I had the structure of a nine-to-five job to keep me on track.

Sometimes it seems there is a gaping hole in my life where a vocation would have been. I will grieve and wonder what I can do about it, then, in the next second, a friend will comment as to how much she wishes she did not have to work, talk about impossible people she is working with or how disappointed she is in the promotion that did not happen. Worse yet, she'll say she missed something with her kids or that she wondered if they needed more time with her. The pendulum then swings back to thankfulness for me, with the caveat that I need to write more.

I guess the upshot of all of this musing is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, on the flip side of a choice. In the end we have to live with the decisions we have made, and make the very best of our circumstances, with God's help. Time for me to dust myself off and have another go at pleasing God with what He has provided for me, trusting that He will change my circumstances and lead me down the right paths, his grace raining on any mistakes I have made as He guides me heavenward. Belief is crucial here. Faith is essential.

I suppose this Sunday morning I will have to purpose in my heart to live within the four walls of today. Make a plan for today, then do it. Life is easier in bite-sized chunks.