Where Rabbits Run

It was a scorcher here in Knoxville, Tennessee today. Added to the mercury outside was the heat of my intense personality. I woke up once again at the mercy of my tornado of emotions: one part late mid-life hormones, one part the swirling mass of feelings that has made up me since first I opened my eyes in birth. Prayed. Looked at the scriptures I have written on note cards.  Went about some chores in my hallmark wildly ADD fashion (mop one-half of the kitchen floor then sail quickly out back, pluck pet rabbit from hutch and race across the yard to put him in exercise pen so fast that he is probably doing the sign of the cross over his forehead, violently hose down hutch to get it ready for the little darling, finish mopping, get in car and oh, go to tile place to find a matching tile for broken one, then swerve into Petsmart for supplies and then over to Hobby Lobby for one item). Oh, I neglected to mention crying in the Hobby Lobby checkout. Almost forgot.

Wait. Who does that? I mean, really. We've all got stuff, right? Well, let me back up. I am dealing with some things. Things that leave me feeling for all of the world like I am spinning my wheels in the sand. I feel heartbroken by these challenges. I feel like I am balancing a bucket of pain on each shoulder. The burdens never lift. Emotionally, I feel like a broken down compact car from the seventies, gears grinding almost impotently. Like that wobbly little compact, sometimes I break down and a friend or family member must tow me off home with kind words or prayers. I am really down to metal on metal.

I am sure this is right where God wants me. I forgot to say that, just today, just a few moments ago, actually, God gave me favor in a way that comforted me. He loves me. I know this. When I am down to metal on metal I have a great opportunity to, as the worn out (but  true) adage goes: "Let go and let God." Let's see if I will. Let's see if I will let him carry my pain. I really do need to. I need to focus on whatever positive thing the day yields. I need to live in the moment. The lady who checked me out at Hobby Lobby said that life's challenges never get better, they just change from one set of hard things to another as we move through life. That is what made me break down into tears. She looked surprised and was probably sorry she upset me. I needed hope, not a terrible forecast. As I burst into the hot sunshine I was openly wiping tears, probably making everyone assume that I had recently gotten terrible news. I did not even care.

On the way home, I saw the "Tuesday Morning" store near my house. "I am going to get myself that butterfly mug I saw in the other Tuesday Morning store the other day," I thought. Once inside, I did not find that particular mug, but did find one that fit my life even better. Colorful rabbits graced the cheerful mug. As a pet lionhead rabbit owner, this one fit the bill! I sat down to a horribly interrupted cup of tea when I got home. So, I made myself another. Sometimes you just have to.