I hope that I have not, as I have embarked on regular blogging again, given anyone the impression that I have got it together or anything. I still struggle to keep peace in some of my key relationships, I still worry way too much, I still walk in fear when I should be stepping out in faith and swimming in the peace of God. I still struggle with gossip, critical speech and profanity, though prayer and drawing closer to God have had the natural effect, over the last couple of weeks, of washing some of that out to sea. This is refreshing! Every single time I post here, I am writing to remind MYSELF of things God is teaching me. I want a record I can refer to in the future, when fear and worry attack without warning. Of course I want to encourage others if I can. I want God to use me if He will. I just want you all to know that I am preaching first and foremost to my own sinful nature EVERY TIME I POST!
In short, I am still a red hot mess. The key difference is that when I wobble and topple over, in the last couple of weeks I am doing better about grabbing a handlebar of scripture (I have several that I confess every day RIGHT OUT LOUD) and getting back up. I cut my panicky episodes short by determining to listen to God's comfort, which is always right in my ear. Today I listened to a sermon a friend sent me (thanks Michele) and put on the beautiful comfort of the knowledge that this life is about showing God that we are his, that we love him, that he deserves our all, that we lay it all down for him. Sometimes that kind of redirect is even more comforting than all of the promises of protection, deliverance and provision (which I still believe, by the way, CHAPTER AND VERSE)!
Yes, I will still pray about EVERYTHING. Yes, I will still stand in faith (as God graciously hands it to me as a gift) for the answers to all of my needs and my children's needs. But I will look steadfastly to Christ and to the job He has allowed me to have on this earth of answering HIS call to serve Him and give my all to him. When I am waiting for the manifestation of the answers to my prayers I can remember that the hope of heaven NEVER wavers. I am going there and I am going to enjoy the fellowship of the God of heaven in the mean time on this broken old earth, right in the midst of the warfare that is a part of the Christian life.
I never want to give the impression that I am a super-charged warrior riding a wave of victory. No, I am a Christian wife and mother wending her way through some crazy challenges that sometimes overwhelm her like ocean waves during a hurricane. Sometimes I fall completely apart! I am learning that that is okay, too. As long as I don't STAY down. I am getting stronger, getting to a better place with the Lord. Learning to lean on Him. My faith muscles ARE growing! It will take me awhile. I have to learn to be patient.
In short, I am still a red hot mess. The key difference is that when I wobble and topple over, in the last couple of weeks I am doing better about grabbing a handlebar of scripture (I have several that I confess every day RIGHT OUT LOUD) and getting back up. I cut my panicky episodes short by determining to listen to God's comfort, which is always right in my ear. Today I listened to a sermon a friend sent me (thanks Michele) and put on the beautiful comfort of the knowledge that this life is about showing God that we are his, that we love him, that he deserves our all, that we lay it all down for him. Sometimes that kind of redirect is even more comforting than all of the promises of protection, deliverance and provision (which I still believe, by the way, CHAPTER AND VERSE)!
Yes, I will still pray about EVERYTHING. Yes, I will still stand in faith (as God graciously hands it to me as a gift) for the answers to all of my needs and my children's needs. But I will look steadfastly to Christ and to the job He has allowed me to have on this earth of answering HIS call to serve Him and give my all to him. When I am waiting for the manifestation of the answers to my prayers I can remember that the hope of heaven NEVER wavers. I am going there and I am going to enjoy the fellowship of the God of heaven in the mean time on this broken old earth, right in the midst of the warfare that is a part of the Christian life.
I never want to give the impression that I am a super-charged warrior riding a wave of victory. No, I am a Christian wife and mother wending her way through some crazy challenges that sometimes overwhelm her like ocean waves during a hurricane. Sometimes I fall completely apart! I am learning that that is okay, too. As long as I don't STAY down. I am getting stronger, getting to a better place with the Lord. Learning to lean on Him. My faith muscles ARE growing! It will take me awhile. I have to learn to be patient.
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